Mood: blessed! =)
Listening to: If Only Through Heaven's Eyes by Nsync (old school, ye! \m/)
Drinking: Water forever!
Eating: naaadaaaa
Random Thoughts
*August 7*
Pao: rivs
Rivs: po
Pao: super advance hapi birthday!
Pao: nyahahha!
rivs: salamat!
Pao: tanda mo n
rivs: oo nga eh
Pao: d mo n aq itay
Pao: tsk tsk tsk
rivs: super blessed naman
rivs: hoy tatay pa din kita!
Pao: haha
Pao: magce2lebr8 tau s om
Pao: haha
rivs: celebrate nio ko ah
rivs: hehehe, salamat!
kepet: riva
rivs: po
kepet: bday m ba?
rivs: tagal pa po
kepet: pero 9 ka db?
rivs: yeah po
rivs: 7 pa lang po
kepet: aug 9 ka dba?
rivs: opo
kepet: yay!
kepet: tama aku
kepet: hehe
kepet: advance kung ganun.
rivs: salamat po =)
Ye, I am turning old. Old enough to understand what maturity is. It’s raining hard outside and as I wonder, if every raindrops that have fallen are God’s blessings, we have already been flooded. Oh yeah, great analogy, that is how I describe my life now. God’s blessings, love are overflowing me. 2007, my 19th year was the roughest and yet the most blessed year for me. Nineteen years of living in this world and yet we are still learning how we live this life God has given us. God has really showed me how perplex life could be. The year which I had my lowest and had my highest. I am just so thankful I have God in my life. And I believe that my life or our lives should always be a living testimonial of Him. Come to think of it? It’s almost a year now since my mom has survived that traitor disease, cancer. Never would I imagine that that kind or form of disease will ever struck our family, not on my mom’s body. But we never lose faith. It just kept our family closer and having that deeper relationship with God. My mom is a total warrior. She is a SURVIVOR, coz God has already won the battle even before we are proclaimed Victors.
But what happened to me in 2007? Satan had almost ruined everything, my mentality, my confidence, my self-esteem, my ego, me as Riva. Regrettably, I had this thing called emotional eating disorder, or anorexia so to say. I had even seen a doctor because of this. What the heck was I thinking? Whenever I look back to it, I always feel shame, shame of myself and undeniably I am ashamed to Him. What the heck I was doing, I starve myself to death, all I think was that I am fat, I am not pretty?? That’s my whole point of view. It changed my life. I was always insecure of myself. “You’re so pretty!” “oh really? Do I look like one? Coz I never think I am?” I never even believed all the compliments that I received. You know what? I was only glorifying the enemy! he is trying to pull me out! But of course, I have God, and He rules my life! I wont let anyone or anything replace Him. I have redeemed myself again to the Lord, I am CAPTIVATING. And I acknowledge myself that I am BEAUTIFUL in my IMPERFECTION. As Psalms 139:14 says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful I know that full well.” I know I am, because I have God and Beauty is the essence of God.
October 13, Friday. How can I forget my interview at US Embassy. And thanks to God, He granted me with a multiple visa. We were so happy, of course mom freaked out and so was I. and on November, my parents flew to States, spent a month there just enjoying the pleasure, the break, while here we are 4 siblings, left with such great responsibility. And so from there, I have discovered my passion in cooking, turned out that I want to become a chef someday. Yes, amen! And so December came. Aha, another blessing, thank God for Laurice’s family! I had my one of the best Christmas vacation ever! Bora for free? How cool is that? Cmon! Praise God for everything! UULAN NG PAGPAPALA!
Happy new year! The start of 2007, hola 2007! Hola New life, Hola JG! Our JG Youth fellowship was really fun. I always enjoyed every Saturdays of it. And so we were so blessed! Block five is blessed too! Cmon cmon, the best block ever as Mam Jen has said! Praise God, Glory to Him alone for making us number one in our MVJ! I am blessed having this block. But then of course, God wants us to grow. Life always involves challenges! God wants us to learn from it. And He always tests us and to always have that deeper faith in Him. And so this Battery Exam came. We were prepared, I thought. Our grades are fine, interview so-so, and the exam, I just sighed finally it’s over. But heck no, God has said, “You’re too confident hija, I like that confidence you have in Me, but I am going to test you.. is your faith unshakeable? Lemme see..” it was almost three weeks when the results came. All I can say is, “oh no” I was shattered. I remember that was Friday, we had our Bicutan Bible Study and I was going to lead the small group in worship. I told Mickey, “I can’t bro, hinde ko kaya, ambigat ng dibdib ko” and he told me, “Ngayon mo nga to mas kailangan eh” and so led them in singing. I cried my heart out, every line in the song. I was there in the front, raising my voice, lifting my hands and committing everything to the Lord. After the worship, I went straight to the restroom, continued my teeming tears, and said to God, “Lord, I know You have plans for me, and I am holding on to Your promise as You’ve said in Jer. 29:11 that Your plans are to prosper me and give me a future and so I am committing everything to You.” And so by then I had my last cry. it was May, the 2nd results, God didn’t fail me, the battle has been won.
Well I was waiting for three weeks for the 1st results; I was already booked for a US flight. It was on the first week of April, but God has plans, so it didn’t happen. It was delayed for a month. God has always the best plans for us. This is what I’ve learned, committing everything to Him and putting your FULL TRUST on Him. When I say FULL, its 100%, not 99.9%. So after the 2nd release, Auntie Aleli called and told mom to immediately book me since it was May that time, it’s Spring time there and schooling was almost done so I would have the best of time to enjoy the parks there rather than going on October. And so mom immediately called her friend who’s working on a traveling agency and booked me for the soonest flight to CA. It really happened so fast, like Monday, results, Auntie Aleli’s callm Book flight; Tuesday, praying hard for an available flight; Wednesday, confirmation of the flight; Thursday, payment for the fare; Friday, out I go, welcome USA. Wow, Flash mode si Lord. He made everything possible!
And so I had spent my almost one month in San Jose. I had the best vacation ever. And I am so thankful to God for everything. I really asked His blessings and looked what he gave me? And is still giving! It is OVERFLOWING! I miss my family back there. It never fails to leave a smile on my face whenever I think of all the best moments I had there. They are all worth to treasure. God has given me the chance to bond with my uber-missed cousins, Grandparents, tito and tita. I just cant wait to see them again. *sigh*
How can I ever forget my meeting with Ate Joe? I totally shrieked! God, I so thank You for giving me such a wonderful ate. You really are so good! I thank You for using her to introduce the Captivating Book to me. Now I can really say, I am CAPTIVATING. I finally met April, its her debut actually, august 8. and so I met a lot of wonderful people in HICC. On our first trip to San Fo, I met Ate Weng and Oppa Julio. They are such wonderful blessings! I thank God for He has given me these people to touch my life!
Oh yeah, I miss San Jose terribly. I miss the people actually, my so called second family, TFC. I am so touched by God. I cannot even contain how I feel today coz God’s love for me is really overflowing! And now I am here, back to reality where my life revolves on books, school, house and this computer. God is really good, for He has blessed us with modern technology, there’s YM, friendster, myspace, multiply. I remember Oppa’s prayer, “Nawa’y hindi maging hadlang ang distansiya sa aming pakikipagkaibigan at nawa’y pagibayuhin Niyo ito at nang patuloy pang yumabong para sa Inyo” True enough, God strengthens our relationships and even makes ourselves more close to God.
Prayers can really move mountains. And we just have to believe in the power of prayers! I am just overwhelmed on how God moves in my life. It is really amazing. Two words, “Lord, WOW” we just have to ask God to control our lives. In Matt 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, he who seeks finds and to him who knocks the door will be opened” God let us to ask for it. The line is always on, He is never busy. God is waiting.
And so I have asked Him. From the very first JG fellowship we had this years, I had claimed and even declared it to the Lord! (only mers, krish, ana, ace, tay pao know what am I talking about). I always pray for it every night. And as I am always asked, “Riva, how would you perceive your ideal man?” I don’t have an ideal man. Really. From that JG fellowship, my view has changed. “Don’t find your ideal person, but be the best and ideal person for that someone God has for you.” And so, God is still molding me, in preparation for Mr. heaven sent. And as I always pray, “Lord, I know You have prepared someone for me, who I deserve, and You know that once he entered my life, Our relationship is meant to inspire people, and to glorify You, Your Kingdom.”
Oppa asked me what’s my wish for my birthday, I said, PRAYERS. I confess, I need your prayers. And may God bless you, to those who have prayed and are praying for me. It’s really good to know when you hear someone has told you that You are such a wonderful blessing to him/her. Wow. It is always a blessing to be a blessing to somebody. Praise and Glory to God for He is using me.
I am so moved on how God is controlling my life. God is showing it to me, continuously giving me a clear picture of His answers to my prayers. I always ask God to increase my Faith on Him that may He always remind me that He is the Boss, He is the author and creator of everything. And so I am putting my complete 100% TRUST on him.
On Ecc 3:11, one of my favorite verses, it goes “He has made everything beautiful in His time” yeah really, I am praying hard and I am claiming it, my dreams will come true. see? i had already riden in an airplane! so goes my list! i cant wait to have my specialization and my photography class in Stanford University. AMEN! All His plans will come true. I can’t wait for myself. I am in preparation, I will shine and everything is for God’s glory, for His Kingdom.
I super love my family. And I thank God for He continues to bind us with love and harmony. I am so having the greatest relationship with my mom. I love her, she’s my mom! Generation gaps won’t matter anymore. God is so good! My brothers, I have three of different worlds! God made then so unique and I love them for it. Dad will always be my Dudong. And I will always be forever Daddy’s girl.
And yes, God has blessed me with friends! They are my treasures. God has put Muses to test. But we’re unbreakable? See how God loves us? I love my friends. And so the list of my unique friends continue, Krish, mers, cez, ana, eps, corz, zsa, jc, tay pao, shan, jude, ace, jake, and nino (I miss these 3 T_T). the whole block five, man, they’re the best.
Never ever would I forget my friends in highschool. Tol! Jed! Bestfriend! Dang! I miss you! Jamming! Marvs! Chicken Farm!?? Nasr! Ze! Compose??! Parski band! And of course, my mommy owi, riz, mec, kat, jo, everyone! I miss my highschool friends.
Hahaha, I will be screwed if I forget her highness, Mikki. Richness! FRIAS GROUP OF COMPANIES! DUKE KENTOT! Richness ever! Hehehe! To all dA friends, im getting emotional, hahaha! I am counting my blessings eh, and you are included! See how blessed I am? Chard! Thank you so much for your encouragement! Hahaha! Master Ralph! Pictorial!!!!!! Shooting when??!
Marc Ares I’ll always be praying for her. She’s coming soon. Prepare yourself :)
And so this blog is truly meant to be emotional. Heck no, dyokings! Sorry! Before this might take you to fall asleep. I am just so happy. Finally, I am back to my old self, the usual Riva who doesn’t give a damn to insecurities and who could care less to negativism. There’s no more place for pessimism coz God has already occupied every little space in my heart. And yes, Riva you’re on your line of 2. No longer a teenager. TWENTEEN, does it count? XD
I am now turning my page to Chapter 20. all is well! I am excited to new beginnings, challenges, excitements, love! And above all, BLESSINGS!
PRAISE YOU LORD! GLORY TO YOU ALONE! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE
